Suffering from "sales-itis?" It's the condition that all sales professionals suffer from at some point during the summer months. Symptoms include longings for unscheduled vacations, more sales with less work, footwear other than close-toed dress shoes, and frozen drinks to replace bad coffee and dry creamer.
If you're suffering from "sales-itis," the sales jokes below may provide you with some measure of relief while you wait to earn enough PTO to take that trip to Bermuda.
Q: In the 1980s, you would think of the Dry Idea tag line, "Never let them see you sweat," before a meeting with sales management. What do you think of in the summer of 2014?
A: Never let management see my Facebook page (even though those surfing pics I posted that week I called in sick are, like, totally bogus).
Q: What does a sales professional want for breakfast on a hot summer day?
A: More bacon ($$$).
Q: What’s a word that means both “unsolicited or unwanted e-mails” and “Hawaiian steak?”
Q: What does a sales shark eat for dinner?
A: Fish, chips, competitors—and sometimes, colleagues.
Q: Why is it nearly impossible to sell to Brazil-based companies from June 12 to July 13, to England-based companies from June 23 to July 6, and to France-based companies from July 5 to July 27, without making a lot of sports small talk?
A: FIFA World Cup; Wimbledon; Tour de France.
Q: What happens when you slack off on selling during the summer?
A: Your low paychecks will ensure you quickly get summer schooled.
Q: What do you call low sales throughout the summer months?
A: No picnic.
Q: What do you call a guy who wears inappropriate footwear to a summertime sales meeting?
A: Filippe Floppes
Q: What’s the name of the saleswoman who makes record sales during the summer year after year?
A: Marguerite Ondaraks.