What are your pet sales peeves during the holiday season? Below are 12 jokes that poke fun at the irritants and conundrums that befuddle so many of us during the holiday B2B sales cycle.
1. What do you call December sales appointments who don’t show up as scheduled? -Snowflakes.
2. A good direct mail marketing piece to deliver during the holidays? –A candy cane with your company logo printed on it. A bad piece direct mail marketing piece to deliver during the holidays? –A lump of coal with your company logo printed on it.
3. Why was Mr. Grinch awarded Salesperson of the Year even though he didn’t make the highest number of sales? -He sold an expensive networking platform to a guy who only had one desktop computer—only after accepting the guy's desktop computer as a down payment.
4. What do you call a stipulation that must be agreed upon contractually prior to the new year? –A Santa clause.
5. Why does it hurt more when hot leads go cold before the holidays? –In addition to negatively affecting pay scales for the next year, hot leads that go cold just prior to Christmas have been known to cause immediate and severe cases of frostbite.
6. What do salespeople who consistently target cold leads eat for breakfast? –Ice Crispies.
7. Do you want your holiday survey to be taken seriously? –Don’t give it the title, “The North Poll.”
8. What did the sales manager announce to the sales reps that didn’t meet their quotas in Q4? –Sack time!
9. How do leads feel when you pressure them to commit prematurely, just before the new year? –Claustrophobic.
10. What’s the worst excuse a lead can give for not having enough revenue to embark upon an engagement during the winter months? –My budget has been long-committed to a snow bank.
11. How do you know your accountant has become too distracted by the holidays? –Instead of presenting profits and losses in spreadsheet format, he or she presents profits and losses in cookie sheet format. Yum!
12. What’s the one song request sales reps seeking answers to requests for proposals don't want to hear when they take leads out on the town for a night of holiday-themed karaoke? –"Silent Night."