Ever get tired of reading lists of things that you ought to be doing? In business articles and company blogs posts, such lists are rampant. Even Vendere Partners puts forth such lists on its blog. And why not? They can be very handy, especially if you’re looking for step-by-step solutions to specific business problems.
Despite having a proclivity for generating lists, like you, the Vendere team sometimes gets tired of lists that tell people what to do. That’s why we’re shaking things up a bit with the “un-list” below. Instead of telling you what you ought to be doing to increase sales, we’re telling you what you shouldn’t be doing—in a clever way, of course, and with an admittedly dry sense of humor.
Looking for 10 ways to be unsuccessful at sales? This list is for you:
1. Don’t sell anything for which you have a passion; instead, sell whatever it is you think will help you get rich quick. After all, no one ever gets anywhere in life by following their passions.
2. If at first you don’t succeed, give up.
3. Make a minimal amount of sales calls each day. Sales will come to you if you just lean back in your office chair and want them badly enough.
4. Whatever you do, don’t return phone calls promptly. It will be to your advantage to keep prospects waiting.
5. If you don’t know the answer to a prospect’s question, make something up. It’s better to seem like you know what you’re talking about than to take the time to perform the research required to find the right answer.
6. Promise prospects you can deliver everything they want, even if you can’t. As long as you get that initial sale, who cares whether or not the customer sticks around?
7. Always ignore your sales managers when they tell you that cross-selling and upselling are critical components of…yadda-yadda-yadda.
8. Set sales appointments with anyone and everyone, whether or not they are interested in your company’s products and services. Even if only one appointment out of 100 results in an actual sale, that’s something, right?
9. Encourage sales event attendance by offering prospective attendees the chance to win an iTunes gift card. Works every time.
10. Spend as much time as possible on busy work. That way, you can avoid making sales altogether!