Sometimes it takes a little humor to jumpstart a day made up of demographics studies, pipeline analyses, elevator pitches, and sales presentations. Allow Vendere Partners to put your IT and sales woes into perspective with a few ribs, barbs, potshots, outright jokes—and maybe even a few insights— intended to raise your spirits and get you back on the sales fast track.
If computers ever obtain full A.I., they might develop a sense of humor. We can only hope that we're not the butt of the joke.
If a train station is where the train stops, what is a work station?
Oh, drat! My secret is out!
There were computers in biblical times. Eve had an Apple.
And both Adam and Eve were introduced to Bill Gates. The bill was for their wages of sin, and the gates were for their exit from Eden.
If the definition of an upgrade is taking the old bugs out and putting new ones in...
Wouldn’t it be more cost effective to recycle the old bugs?
Computers are not intelligent; they only think they are.
Yeah? Try telling that to the HAL 9000 users aboard Discovery One.
Dictionary: Redefining the way you think about sales
qualified lead generation - the trouble your car engine generates when you forget to put un-leaded in your gas tank.
B2B sales outsourcing - the state of having someone else to blame for not meeting your B2B sales quota.
B2B lead generation - retirees; the older generation leading the way into that golden sunset
appointment setting service - tableware for your lunch or dinner appointment.
lead scoring - preparing for the fold; one of the things you can do to a lead as part of ignoring the warning, "Do not fold, spindle, or mutilate."
demand generation - the younger generation (You can demand a lot, but do they listen?)
Computer Screen Messages
If you have an Apple, maybe you didn’t water it enough, or perhaps you let it become infested with worms. Yuck! If you’re a Windows user, you probably neglected to open a few and let in some fresh air. There’s just got to be a reason that your computer is sending you these crazy messages, right?
Disk full. Press F1 to belch.
Too many electrons. Unplug the thing!
Blue Screen of Death
Translated, it just means: "You've just won the lottery. No need to ever work again." (Gee, why can't I get a virus like that?)
Mouse cursor turns into a hand which shows you the finger.
This happens when you really, really need to go on vacation.
Photograph by Robbie Grubbs